aphrene:

_{BUZZFEED  UNSOLVED  SENTENCE  MEME.}

<sub>-  ‘ hey there, demons, it’s me, ya boy. ‘
-  ‘ hey, ghouls! the boys are here! ‘
-  ‘ this is like satan’s cement butt hole. ‘
-  ‘ here we go! rock and roll, buckaroo! ‘
-  ‘ can i use the jacuzzi hot tub we’ve been blessed with? ‘
-  ‘ maybe this ghost just loves to blaze it. ‘
-  ‘ my fart scared you! ‘
-  ‘ fuck that demon, he’s whitewashing the history of this house. ‘
-  ‘ whatever, demon’s racist. i don’t respect that demon. ‘
-  ‘ oh… i wasn’t fat-shaming bigfoot. ‘
-  ‘ what do you mean it’s not a ghost? ‘
-  ‘ it’s not a ghost. ‘
-  ‘ shadows do tend to follow you, though. that’s sorta how they work. ‘
-  ‘ it’s not even a good poem, it’s just weird. ‘
-  ‘ you’re telling me those architects used math? ‘
-  ‘ knock me down with a feather! ‘
-  ‘ i think you need to learn how to shut the hell up. ‘
-  ‘ i think you need to learn how to shut the fuck up. ‘
-  ‘ i stepped it up with a meaner curse word. ‘
-  ‘ oh shit, what up, i’m taking a selfie with some demons! ‘
-  ‘ hey ghosts, tussle my hair! ‘
-  ‘ every time we get sad, let’s show a picture of the dog. ‘
-  ‘ that’s a good dog. ‘
-  ‘ i’m not the biggest believer in bigfoot. ‘
-  ‘ that’s a guy i would wanna share a cold one with. ‘
-  ‘ you’re a coward! ‘
-  ‘ look at his beady, little eyes. ‘
-  ‘ we’ve really done it now, haven’t we? ‘
-  ‘ how dare they dispose of my body! they should leave it in the hallway to rot! ‘
-  ‘ am i a ghost hunter? ‘
-  ‘ i took an improv comedy class once. ‘cause i’m a white guy. ‘
-  ‘ i always gotta… gotta think about stuff, you know? ‘
-  ‘ now you’re acting like a detective and not a jackass. ‘
-  ‘ alright, just to be fair, fuck christopher columbus. ‘
-  ‘ i think the moon having a boner is about as realistic as ghosts. ‘
-  ‘ i never said i wanted to murder you! this is a hypothetical situation! ‘
-  ‘ you want to kill me! ‘
-  ‘ well, if it’s any consolation, you look like an idiot. ‘
-  ‘ if i step on a… a fly? does a fly’s ghost… stay around? ‘
-  ‘ if you slit my throat tonight i’m gonna have a hard time forgiving you for that. ‘
-  ‘ i’m gonna serve you up a fresh truth pancake right now. ‘
-  ‘ that’s my… my darn sandwich. ‘</sub>