that was…something she’d have to unpack later. but…that made her memory make more sense. the way her sons had screamed, the heartbroken way her husband had looked at her, had begged her not to leave him…
❝ you killed me in front of my family, ❞ roxie said dully, before those words ignited a fire inside of her. she jumped to her feet and spun around, voice full of fury as she screamed, ❝ you KILLED me in front of my FAMILY! ❞
hot, angry tears ran down her cheeks and thunder crashed in the distance, as if the planet itself was raging alongside roxie. another thing clicked -’they were your family and by extension my own’- she and vivi had been friends.
❝ you were my FRIEND? you were my friend and you KILLED ME? in front of my FAMILY? ❞ roxie was sobbing now. everything was a mess- vivi was her mother, and she loved her, but vivi had also betrayed her and killed her in front of her family. which set of memories mattered? which vivi was real- the mother or the killer?
❝ WHY? what did i DO to DESERVE that, vivi? ❞
and then, finally a third thing clicked into place. roxie’s anger was replaced by fear, and she took several stumbling steps backward.
❝ what now? are you going to try to KILL me again? ❞
♛ vivi stood silent from where she stood at the front door, holding her arm tight. nails dug in some as she quietly kicked herself for having done this. she knew, afterwards, what she had done was horrid, abhorrent && wished she could take it all back.
she took her trust && used the bond they had to break cassandra down && murder her in front of a family she built. she tore years of love of her friend apart just due to questions that clung to her soul at night.
she breathed in sharp, looking down as she hid her face in her hand —– she didn’t know what to say, if anything could be said to alleviate the situation ; it was likely nothing could ever be fixed again.
she had her friend practically reincarnated into the child she so loved && adopted. this .. just made everything ever more complicated.
❝ you .. you didn’t deserve it, it .. my father made things so confusing .. i didn’t know what to do —— what to choose but i chose wrong. i should have chosen you over the last member of family that meant little to me when a friendship .. mattered most. ❞ she muttered, dragging her hand down her face.
eyes widened as roxie spoke up again, shaking her head.
❝ my darling no .. never again no, i will never harm you again .. its fine ..
❞
❝ i’ll stay in the rain as long as i damn well please, you MURDERER! ❞ roxie spat out, turning her head to glare at vivi out of the corner over her eye.
❝ who were those other people? when you killed me, there were other people- not capellans…one of them was furry. the others were green. who were they? ❞ roxie demanded. they’d been screaming in her dream, and the furry one had cradled her as she died.
♛ she held her tongue ; having been roxie’s mother for years past made it almost automatic to respond in a motherly manner. to tell her that she was being RUDE && to watch herself but .. she knew that she had no reason to tell her to keep herself kind, she had no standing to do anything right now. cassandra was right.
she did murder her. she tore a family apart in retaliation for her own being torn to shreds years ago, she’d .. she’d listened to her father’s hatred && didn’t think. she tore apart YEARS upon YEARS of friendship to simply murder her in front of her family to only regret it. she’d tried to atone for her past actions && mistakes ——- cassandra had shown her that there had been more to life than pain && anger but .. the one that didn’t give her much care won out in the end.
she’d chosen wrong.
she’d ended up a monster with a child. a child who ended up being her old friend && now everything had shattered again. just like everything else seemed to do && now she was locking emotions away to keep them hidden.
❝ do as you will, my love .. however those people were of earth. they were your family && by extension, my own. they had given you && i so much —– the ones who were green were the sons you had adopted, their names being michelangelo, donatello, raphael && leonardo .. && the one who was furry was .. ❞ she trailed off, swallowing hard.
memories of their distraught noises, their SCREAMS of fear, panic && agony ran through her head in a barrage && she felt sick.
she’d done this to them && it had been years since it had all happened. who knew where they were now. if they even still lived ——- if splinter had managed to continue on without the woman he had fallen in love with.
the woman who’d saved his soul.
❝ he was your husband. his name was .. his name was splinter. ❞
♛ ❝ rox —- cassandra are you going to stay
IN THE RAIN
forever mad at me or you coming back inside .. ❞ she muttered, rubbing her face as she stood just out in the threshold.
❝ first of all, no, you’re not. second of all…that’s no excuse for keeping it from me. how long have you known about this? ❞
snowball’s hand drifts to her soul mark on her wrist- considering who her soulmate turned out to be, it was fittingly a snowflake. however, whereas snowball’s mark had been easily visible…frostbite had been covering hers up.
♛ ❝ .. weeks now. ❞ she muttered, looking away from snowball, unable to look her in the eye. it wasn’t right, not to tell her && she knew it but .. she didn’t want to admit this was real. especially when .. when snowball was more deserving of someone not as cold as her. she felt that she wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH for her.
“i think that’s as deep as i’ll need to dig, honestly. unless someone asks why we would need beehives in our chests…which…i actually can’t think of any good reasons. can you?”
♛ ❝ er .. not really no, honestly it could be some old legend or tradition that is so old && etched in our lore that there’s SO MUCH possibility as to why. that could honestly work ?? ❞
“well i mean- iknow it would never work out, but no earthling knows that. if anyone asks me to demonstrate, i’ll just say it was something that we can only do with capellan bees,” cassandra said with a shrug. “…never mind the fact that capella didn’t have bees.”
♛ ❝ which then i’ve got your back on too, i suppose but .. just don’t dig yourself into a DEEP ENOUGH hole, alright love ?? ❞ she murmured, smirking at her while trying to hold back laughter.
“Look, I was trying to make a joke, but Splinter sort of thought I might be serious about it, so…I told him Capellan hearts can double as beehives.”
There’s a shit eating grin on her face, and she laughs at the memory. “I mean, it’s not like he has anyway to prove me wrong, and now that you’re on board…”
♛ ❝ i’m not even going to talk about how our hearts DOUBLING as beehives wouldn’t work out —- since we’d be DEAD for one .. but .. gosh .. you’re IMPOSSIBLE sometimes, cassandra ❞ she chuckled, fingers just barely touching her own lips in amusement.
“we should be safe here, for now. oriel and nikola are going to figure out where to go next, so…i guess we’ll just stay put.”
ioavis is an almost unnaturally clean planet- but it felt cold and sterile more than anything. especially in the pristine, empty tunnels beneath the city. cassandra slumped down against the curved wall, exhausted both physically and emotionally.
theon had turned on her. she wasn’t the last capellan. her people wanted her dead.
it was a lot to handle in one day.
♛ ❝ that’s .. a good idea, yes. i um .. its been kind of crazy this whole thing but as i said .. when this all started ; i’m still going to be ON YOUR SIDE. you’ve got me always, cassandra. ❞ she murmured, rubbing her hands together.
